Chapter 12
I was too surprised because of what Iver said to Yves. Sa sobrang gulat sa mga nangyari, hindi ako makapagsalita. Nakatingin lang ako kay Yves na hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin nakakabawi.
“Seriously? What the hell is his problem?”
I lost my patience anymore and followed that guy. I heard that Yves is calling me out but I didn't even bother to look at him. Ang sama ng ugali ng Iver na iyon! The freak!
Habang naglalakad ako papunta sa kaniya, kunot ang noo ko. Yves can't lose his work here. I know that his grandmother needs to be checked up. She needs medicine kung ano man ang sakit nito. Somehow, I care for her. Especially, she treats me better than any of the locals here. She didn't judge me. She believes that there's nothing wrong about being an illegitimate child.
“I know that you're following me. Anong problema mo?”
My eyes widened when Iver stopped from walking and quickly faced me. My brows became furrowed more.
“Ikaw? What's your problem? You fired Yves dahil lang do'n? Hindi mo nakita lahat! You're being nonsense!”
Mas lalo akong nainsulto nang ngumisi siya. What the?
“No. You're being nonsense here,” he casually told me. “I saw it. Hindi ko na kailangan ng explanation galing sa inyo. Now if you don't have anything to say, you may leave. You're just wasting my time..”
Mas lalong nanlaki ang mata ko nang marinig iyon sa kaniya. Hahabulin ko pa sana siya nang bigla siyang maglakad palayo sa akin. His guards even stopped me from following him na kanina ay wala naman!
“Argh! Freak it! Vander, where are you?!”
I'm breathing fastly right now because of anger. I'm also irritated because of the guards in front of me! Mas naiinsulto ako sa blangko nilang mukha!
I keep on calling for Vander but he didn't even show up! His brother probably stopped him from doing so!
Napatigil na lang ako nang may mga tumitingin na sa aking mga trabahador nina Vander. I immediately covered my face with the cloth that Yves gave me earlier. Baka may makakilala pa sa akin at makarating pa ito kay Dad!
Nang medyo kumalma ay kunot ang noo kong humarap sa guards. “Fine! But we're not yet over, Iver!”
I screamed so he could hear it properly. I really don't want to make a scene. I don't want them to think that I'm rude and I'm really showing an attitude of a bastard. Isa pa ay iisipin ng mga taong wala akong class. Kaya kahit naiinis pa rin sa nangyari, taas-noo akong umalis doon kahit pa pinagtitinginan ng iilang mga tao.
Nang bumaba ang tingin ko, I realized that I still have a mud on my dress and I look so dirty and disgusting right now! Now I know why they're looking at me!
It's so embarrassing! Argh! Kasalanan ito ni Yves at Iver! Damn it!
I tried my best to remain my poker face as I walked away. Nang makalayo ay kaagad kong hinanap si Yves. Wala na siya sa lugar na pinag-iwanan ko sa kaniya. I'm still so muddy right now so I had a quick wash on my body. I also changed my dress with Yves' shirt.
Kahit nang matapos ay diring-diri pa rin ako sa sarili. I feel the need of scrubbing my whole body right now! I want to soak myself on a really warm water!
I feel so gross but I tried to stop myself from being maarte. Kinaiinisan ko si Milan dahil sa kaartehan niya pero ngayon ay parang nagaya na rin ako sa kaniya! Yves also told me that I'm maarte!
Naglakad-lakad pa ako para hanapin si Yves pero kahit saan ako tumingin, hindi ko pa rin siya makita! I swear, if I see him, I will immediately wring his neck!
Tiningan ko ang mga kwadra kung nandoon pa siya pero wala akong nakita kahit anino niya. I checked the other parts of the rancho and I even asked people about him but I still didn't find him!
When I felt tiredness after a long walk, I heavily sighed. I breathe in and out to calm myself. Napatigil na lang ako nang may marinig akong usapan sa hindi kalayuan. I'm behind the trees that's why I can't clearly see the people on the other side. But I'm sure that I heard my father's voice! He's with my supposedly home school instructor together with a middle aged man.
I'm about to run but then, I suddenly heard their discussions very loud and clear.
“Hindi ko pa nahahanap ang anak ko, Governor,” pagsasalita ni Dad sa kanila. He's riding on a horse. “I don't know what to do if Minerva finds out about this. My daughter has been missing for weeks. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin..”
“Hindi naman siguro mawawala ang anak mo sa isla natin. 'Di hamak na mas maliit ito kaysa sa iba. She's just maybe roaming around.. with her friends 'di ba, Geraldine? Pwede ring pumunta ng kabilang isla. Sa El Rio,” sabi ng tinawag ni Dad na governor.
"'Yan din ho ang sinasabi ko sa kaniya but he's so worried about his daughter, Gov. We should understand him especially now that Tita Minerva is away from him...”
I saw how my Dad's face crumpled because of what they're saying. Seeing him like this is breaking my heart but my pride is eating up my whole system right now that even if I want to finally show up to him, I just can't. Ngayon ko lang nakitang ganoon kalungkot si Dad. He looks so helpless.
“Ugh!”
Nagulat ako nang bigla akong matumba dahil sa panghihina. Maybe, I think it's also because of this feeling that I feel right now while looking at Dad.
“Alindra, anak? Is that you?”
Nanlalaki ang mata ko habang nakatayo sa likuran ng malalaking puno. Dad came closer to my direction but before that, I ran away from them. I ran away again from him. Not because I don't pity his situation right now or I don't want to be with him. I'm just upset, mad and now disgusted to our family that Mom is slowly ruining!
Hindi ko alam ang daan papunta kina Yves pero nagulat na lang ako nang makita siya sa harapan ng kanilang bahay. I realized that I finally reached their house without his guidance. Napahinga ako nang malalim habang tinitingnan ang likuran niya.
Nag-aayos siya ng bangka habang papalapit ako. I want to wring his neck now and slap him but I'm too tired and emotional to do that.
“I-I'm sorry,” I greeted him with my apologize even if it's so hard for me to do that. “Hindi ko alam na gano'n ang mangyayari. That Iver was rude! He didn't even let us explain!”
I'm not too close and not also too far from him so I know that he heard what I said. I can see from here that his muscles became tensed and he stopped from what he is doing.
Hindi siya nagsasalita kaya tinuloy ko ang sasabihin, “I.. tried to explain para kahit papaano hindi ka niya i-fire pero hindi siya nakinig! M-Maybe I'll talk to Vander instead..”
I stopped when I noticed that he isn't even listening to me. Ngayon ay nilapitan ko na talaga siya.
“Ano, Yves? Are you mad---”
“Hindi,” he cut me off. He faced me this time. “Hindi ako galit. Pero parang ikaw pa ang galit sa ating dalawa ngayon. Nawalan ako ng trabaho. Ano kayang inaasahan mong magiging reaksyon ko?”
I stopped for a moment after he said those words. Napabuntong-hininga ako.
“Kung galit ka sa akin, hindi ko naman kasalanan ang nangyari. I don't even want that to happen!”
Again, he didn't answer me. Naiirita na akong nakatingin sa kaniya ngayon.
“Fine! If you're mad then stay mad! As if I care!” I rolled my eyes and turned my back to him.
Nagulat naman ako nang magsalita siya bigla, “may sakit si Lola. Kailangan niya ng gamot. Kailangan niya magpa-check up. Hindi sasapat ang kikitain ko sa pangingisda kung sakali..”
My mouth slightly opened because of what he said. “M-May sakit ang lola mo? I'll help.. I can help, Yves..”
Hindi ko na alam kung may sinagot ba sa sinabi ko si Yves nang bigla kong makita si Mom na pababa sa isang bangka. Malaki ang mata kong nakatingin sa kaniya at sa kasama niya. I thought it was just a fisherman but then, his face was familiar! I can't be wrong! Siya iyong nakita ko na hinalikan si Mom noong gabing iyon!
I clenched my fist as I tried to hold back my tears. Tinatawag ako ni Yves pero hindi ako lumilingon sa kaniya. I'm just staring at my Mom. Hindi ba siya nahihiya na baka may makakita sa kaniya? Nasa parte kami ng dalampasigan na hindi madaling makita pero sila! Kitang-kita sila!
They're both laughing while walking. My forehead creased even more because of that. Gusto kong alisin ang nasa isip ko! Gusto kong isipin na mali ako pero kitang-kita ko sila ngayon sa harapan ko!
Bago pa bumuhos ang luha ko, naglakad ako palayo sa kanila. I didn't look back.. not anymore. Kung ang tanawing iyon lang ang makikita ko paglingon ko ay mas mabuting huwag na lang akong lumingon kahit kailan.
“Saan ka pupunta?” I even heard Yves' loud voice from where I am right now. Still, I didn't turn around to look at my back.
Pakiramdam ko, lutang ang isip ko habang naglalakad papalayo. I don't want to feel this freaking feeling of mine but look at me right now! I'm miserable while escaping my problems! Hindi ko alam kung saan ako dinadala ng mga paa ko! I just want to forget everything and hide from all of them!
“What are you doing? Tatakasan mo na naman ang problema mo katulad ng lagi mong ginagawa?”
I stopped from moving when I felt Yves' presence on my back. I just realized that I'm now trying to push the boat — making it ready for a ride. Hindi ko na alam kung anong ginagawa ko.
“Stop acting that you know everything. You know nothing, Yves,” sabi ko nang hindi lumilingon sa kaniya. “Aalis ako. Magpapakalayo-layo muna ako. Don't worry, I'll still pay you. Pumunta ka sa mansion namin. Tell this about my Dad. He'll help you..”
“Tumigil ka sa ginagawa mo.”
Nang tumingin ako sa kaniya, seryoso siyang nakatingin sa akin. “And who are you to stop me huh?”
“Hindi mo alam ang daan. Wala kang kakilala sa ibang isla. Wala ka ring pera. Saan ka pupulutin?”
“I-I don't care! Gusto kong lumayo sa inyong lahat!”
I was shocked to see Mom that is now nearing us! Mabuti at hindi niya pa kami nakikita sa bahaging ito!
“Alindra!"
Hindi ko pinansin ang pagtawag ni Yves sa akin at nagmamadali kong tinulak pa palayo ang bangka.
“Hayaan mo na siya, Yves! May sakit si Lola! Kailangan ka niya!”
Nakaupo na ako sa bangka nang bigla kong makita si Regina. She's stopping Yves from following me. There she goes again!
I don't care about them anymore. I just paddled away from them. My mother might see me and I don't want that to happen yet! Lalo na ngayong kasama niya ang kabit niya na akala ko noon, nagkamali lang ako!
“Pakisamahan muna si Lola. Please. Kailangan kong samahan si Alindra. Babalik ako..”
Narinig ko pang tinatawag ni Regina si Yves pero sumunod pa rin talaga siya sa akin at hindi niya pinakinggan ang babaeng iyon. Inis kong binilisan ang pagsagwan. The happenings were just so fast that it's driving me crazy! Look at me now! I'm not even thinking rationally! Aalis ako sa isla nang mag-isa at nakabangka lang! I don't have a money to spend! I only have myself right now!
Ewan ko at ang gulo-gulo!
Binilisan ko lang ang ginagawa kahit hindi ko alam kung saan papunta. My mind is filled with so many thoughts after what happened. Masyadong marami ang nangyayari ngayon at hindi ko kinakayang isipin lahat!
I came here just to unwind and relax. To escape from Felix but I didn't know that this could happen. I never thought that our family can be ruined just because of my Mother's lust and infidelity! I never thought that I could feel so much pain when I got here!
Hindi ko iniisip lahat ng iyon nang marating ko ang isla na 'to. Kaya nang maramdaman ko lahat at mangyari ang kinatatakutan ko — parang ayaw kong paniwalaan. The first time I saw my Mom with that old man, I denied to myself that there's something going on between the two of them. Iniisip kong baka kaibigan niya lang iyon. At nagkamali ako nang makita sila. I'm just doubting before but now that I saw them with my two eyes, laughing together like they have a romantic relationship — I can't deny it anymore.
Mahirap tanggapin pero nakita mismo ng mga mata ko!
Ang hindi ko maintindihan, bakit nagawa iyon ni Mom? When in fact she already has everything! Career. Family. Money. Everything! Siguro nga, hindi siya nakuntento! Dahil kung nakuntento siya, hindi niya 'to gagawin sa amin ni Dad! Kung nakuntento siya, hindi siya kailan man maghahanap ng iba!
I forcefully wiped my tears while thinking of still going away from this miserable little island. Mabigat ang paghinga ko nang sandaling tumigil para magpahinga. I'm almost at the middle of the dark blue sea. I'm quite nervous because of the wild waves that are coming on my way but the eagerness to leave has made me tough and brave right now. Na kahit siguro bumagyo ay gugustuhin ko pa ring umalis dahil lang sa kagustuhan ko.
I'm about to paddle again when someone held my hand tight. I screamed when I saw a pale hand! Nagulat naman ako nang may biglang umahon sa harap ko — revealing a pale and almost fainting Yves. He probably swam this far! Freak!
“Why are you here? Bakit mo pa ako sinundan?”
Napatili naman ako nang bigla siyang kumapit sa bangka at umupo sa loob. I almost fell underwater because of what he did! I'll be drowned again if ever!
Hindi siya sumagot sa sinabi ko dahil hinihingal pa rin. I noticed that he removed his top that revealed his broad chest and shoulder. I didn't look away even if I should. Tinitigan ko lang siya. Hindi ko na alam kung anong gagawin ko sa lalaking 'to. Nang dumating siya, parang ayaw ko na lang gawin ang kaninang ginagawa!
I felt like I lost my energy to paddle again — to finally get rid of that island!
“Yves, answer me!” I said when he still didn't answer. “Your Lola's sick! Don't you remember? She needs you right now! Kailangan ka niya! Ano ba?!”
Hindi ko alam kung bakit parang bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko nang bigla niya akong lingunin. No! Probably not because of him! I'm just nervous and scared of the waves in front of us!
“Bakit? Ikaw ba? Hindi mo ba ako kailangan?”
My mouth opened when I heard that from him. Umiwas kaagad ako ng tingin. “O-Of course not! Ang kapal naman ng mukha mo!”
I even rolled my eyes because of irritation.
“Talaga, hindi?” Halos marinig ko ang pagngisi sa boses niya. “Tumingin ka nga sa akin, Miss Alindra. Sabihin mo sa akin na hindi mo ako kailangan..”
Naiirita akong tumingin sa kaniya kahit ayaw ko. “I don't need---” I trailed off and screamed after what he did. Bigla niyang kinuha sa akin ang sagwan na hawak! Muntik ulit akong mahulog!
“You don't need me huh? Sige, babalik na ako. Kailangan ako ni Lola sabi mo...”
Nakita kong patalon na siya ulit sa tubig na hawak pa rin ang sagwan. Nang makita ko ang malalakas na hampas ng alon, hindi ko namalayang nakakapit na ako sa kaniyang shorts!
“Bakit?” he asked me, still smirking.
Napalunok naman ako. “N-No! I mean, yes! I need you!”
Mas lalo siyang napangisi sa sinabi ko. Ngayon hindi ko na talaga maintindihan kung ano ang nasa isip ng lalaking 'to! Sometimes he's mad, rude and cold like an ice! But he's sometimes also caring and showing concern! Hindi ko na alam kung ano ba talaga ang tunay na ugali niya!
He didn't speak anymore. He just paddled and continue what I was doing a while ago.
Somehow I'm agree that I'm maarte according to Yves! Mapapahamak pa ako sa pride at kaartehan ko!
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