// Later that night - Sydney, Australia //
Anthony’s flat had only one bedroom which prompted him and I to sleep in the living room while Ellen joined the then-sleeping Junior in the bedroom. In the couch, Anthony and I discussed more about our relationship, with only a small lamp-shade on.
“So…? How did it go?” Anthony asked how I got along with his mom and Junior as he palmed my head, which was then laying on his chest, my hand tracing up the shape of his jaw.
“Great. I love them.” I whispered not to make any noise.
“Love?” Anthony wanted to confirm, sliding a look downward.
“Yes, I love them,” I repeated, looking up to Anthony now, and my voice no longer a cautious whisper.
A sudden glow emerged from Anthony’s face. “Yes.” I could hear him mutter under his breath as if a typical guy boasting about his conquest.
Much later, I had now the courage to admit to Anthony I wanted to meet Penny, too. No matter how much I try to dismiss the thought, I couldn’t help feeling a speck of jealousy. It’s silly of me, but this is Junior’s mom. And she’s going to be always around.
Anthony turned off the lamp and gathered me in his arms, the side of his face rubbing against mine as he drew his body closer to my back.
“I love you, you that.” I could feel Anthony’s breath as his hand glided over my arm and waist. “I know, she’s not going away, but I want you to know you have nothing to worry about.” Anthony supplemented, his tone more serious now.
Undeniably, a wave of relief washed over me. Although this isn’t the first time we talked about Penny, Anthony kept reassuring me, and I had to apologize to him for bringing it out from time to time.
In my brief silence, Anthony took the opportunity to bounce back the question to me and ask about the men in my life, especially Ethan. I shared to Anthony some details about him before. But in fragments…
And this, I realized now I haven’t told Anthony yet that I was once engaged to Ethan. I couldn’t feel more selfish and hypocrite now. I’ve been unfair to Anthony all along. Or maybe I was still in denial.
The way Ethan left me and went on to marry another woman a few weeks after our breakup… It still left me in shock. And it made clear to me now I haven’t fully recovered yet. There’s still a crack, and it was me who needed to settle some things, after all.
Feeling Anthony’s passionate kisses in my nape, I was ashamed to face him now, uncertain if this was the time to spill the secret or hold it temporarily. I hated to ruin Anthony’s mood, and I was scared it might lead to a sudden argument. Ellen and Junior are here, it is no time for a fight show.
“Hey…” Anthony patted my arm lightly the second he noticed I was in abysmal thoughts. “Are you okay?”
For a full minute, I was wordless, in two minds that if I choose to waive the problem now, Anthony will hate me upon learning it all.
“Anthony…” I whispered as I stopped him from kissing me. Then slowly, I turned around to face him, allowing the lights of nearby buildings show my face to him.
“There’s something I want you to know…” I was careful, sensing Anthony’s mood on how he’s going to take it. “About Ethan…”
Anthony waited for me to continue, and I could feel his heart pumping against his chest. Perhaps, he was scared too.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t strong enough to tell you that I was once engaged to him.”
And then… a total silence. To my surprise Anthony responded, “I know. I’m not stupid, Natalie.”
As much as I wanted to ask him how he’d known it, I opted to stay silent and let him speak for himself.
“When you arrived here, you forgot to log out your email from my laptop,” Anthony said, and I was afraid he might have seen those photos. And emails too, especially those from Yvonne, reminding me of Anthony’s background.
“What...?” I uttered shamefully, got up from the couch, and already prepared myself for whatever Anthony had to say. But I wished they were gentle.
Anthony got up, too, and followed my footsteps into the bathroom. I was turning hot and cold, and I badly needed to wash my face and just breathe.
“The photos, I saw them…” Anthony continued, his voice in between controlled anger and jealousy. He was referring to my pre-nuptial photos with Ethan, from the romantic City of Verona to the desert sands of Dubai. “We’re already dating, and you damn chose to keep them. And you know he’s already married.” Anthony neared and challenged me, in his efforts to keep his voice down.
But my heart… It felt it would stop from beating any time now. Anthony’s angry eyes kept ripping me apart.
“I’m sorry…” I clutched to the sink for balance and found solace sitting at the side of the bath tub.
Anthony sat too and heaved a dense sigh. “I’m sorry, I opened your email,” he said, his head swaying. “I had to. You weren’t telling me much. I needed answers, too.”
Anthony’s point was fair enough. And my fault, too, for not securing my email. For a while, we just sat there, mulling over the fact that there’s a lot of unsettled matters between us. I wished none of these would threatened our relationship.
“We’ll take it step by step. Solve things one at a time. Together…” To my astonishment, Anthony was showing optimism. And I felt relieved that the initiative came from him.
“Together…” I smiled and rested my head on his shoulder, our hands holding each other tight as we calmed each other’s aching hearts.

Anthony fell asleep slowly in my arms that night, as a stream of thoughts rummaged speedily in my head. I thought of how our future could be. About our finances, future home, and if Anthony will ever join me in the company.
But… Anthony already made it clear he’s staying here and that he had no interest in my family fortune. And with these thoughts, I finally fell asleep, too.